i'm just creating this entry 2 give me something 2 do... cos i’m pretty bored today, now that i’ve finished watching, reading & listening 2 every bit of post-match analysis of ireland’s oh so grand grand slam win that i could find on the net (a big go raibh maith agat - that's irish for thank you, if you don't mind - 2 rte). i probably shouldn’t be admitting that i'm bored, much less writing about it, especially seen as i’m in work & seen as i do have 'stuff' 2 do. 'stuff' roughly translates 2 maybe an hours work - okay maybe 2 hours - with a deadline of the end of the month 2 get it done by. even me, the procrastinator extraordinaire that i am, is gonna have difficulties stretching 2 hours of work out over 5 days. i suppose i’ll continue 2 pass the days by drinking coffee, sitting on fb, listening 2 the albums i’m downloading, taking extended lunch breaks, & sauntering around the office having jovial banter with the koreans, the same koreans who aren’t fooling me by pretending 2 be busy. yep, 2 months after the end of one camp, & 4 months before the start of the next, it’s a quiet time for all – not just me - in mellowville, a.k.a. the ck office. i guess @ the moment i’m just getting paid 2 be here... getting paid just 2 be a western presence in the office, an expensive luxury in a time of economic crisis (yes, they are suffering over here 2... go out & buy a few samsung tv's or hyundai cars please). i’m here 2 be a human thesaurus... i'm here in case someone wants 2 know what this word is & that word means... & i'm here in case someone needs a document 2 be checked for grammatical errors . i’m also here just in case, as happened last week, it is desirable 2 have a western face in some official photograph... & finally, i’m here in case the koreans get curious as 2 what a westerners opinion is on some pressing korean issue (will there be a war?... do i think the koreans will win the wbc? etc). yep, these days i'm just your regular johnny-on-the-spot, go-2 ck westerner... & that's fine with me.
right, speaking of the wbc, the game starts in an hour. best get the feed 2 my desktop sorted. nothing else 2 do. not today anyway. comon' korea!
**upade, 4 hours later - they lost. so, no beers tonight then i guess. myself & the rest of the korean males in the office have just spent most of the afternoon huddled around a computer monitor watching the game. the boys are still grumbling & cursing the damn japanese. nothing new there. **
‘livin' with seoul’ laugh
i like this, an actual question given on a university of washington chemistry mid-term. the answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which, of course, meant he shared it with the world.
*bonus question: is hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?* most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using boyle's law (gas cools when it expands & heats when it’s compressed) or some variant. one student, however, wrote the following, for which he received a well deserved a+. first, we need 2 know how the mass of hell is changing in time. so we need 2 know the rate @ which souls are moving into hell & the rate @ which they are leaving. i think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets 2 hell, it will not leave. therefore, no souls are leaving. as for how many souls are entering hell, let's look @ the different religions that exist in the world today. most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go 2 hell. since there is more than one of these religions & since people do not belong 2 more than one religion, we can project that all souls go 2 hell. with birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell 2 increase exponentially. now, we look @ the rate of change of the volume in hell because boyle's law states that in order for the temperature & pressure in hell 2 stay the same, the volume of hell has 2 expand proportionately as souls are added. this gives 2 possibilities: 1. if hell is expanding @ a slower rate than the rate @ which souls enter hell, then the temperature & pressure in hell will increase untilall hell breaks loose. 2. if hell is expanding @ a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature & pressure will drop until hell freezes over. so which is it? if we accept the postulate given 2 me by teresa during my freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in hell before i sleep with you," & take into account the fact that i slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, & thus i am sure that hell is exothermic & has already frozen over. the corollary of this theory is that since hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls & is therefore extinct...leaving only heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, teresa kept shouting 'oh my god!'
‘livin’ with seoul’ overreaction video
a lady misses her flight @ hong kong airport... & she’s gets a tad upset.
not much 2 say today. i have a hangover... & for good reason. regardless, i just wanna pay homage 2 the irish rugby team. so often the nearly men... but not this year. it was a good week 2 be irish. relive the magic here & here. slainte.
according 2 lifeinkorea.com ‘korea has four distinct seasons’. distinct, meaning ‘not alike; different in nature or quality.’ well, you could have fooled me. this year korea seems 2 have gone straight from winter 2 summer, bypassing spring altogether. it’s 15 degrees today & it was 18 on tuesday (paddies day). you can put that into context when you consider it was -2 last sunday. 18 degrees people... that’s a good irish summers day right there. with a week of those temperatures @ home in july or august we’d have dermatologists warning of the dangers of skin cancer, the environmentalists harping on about the scourge that is global warming, & the authorities screaming of water shortages (on a small island surrounded by the stuff). maybe korea this year did actually have a spring, a 2 week spring that i missed when i was @ home hearing all about the recession. or maybe this is a korean spring (for all the time i’ve spent here i’ve never actually been in korea for the months march through june), one that just happens 2 remind me of an irish summer. whatever it is i’m lovin’ it – summer smells (melting tar on the roads, cooking smells, body odour on the crammed busses, & sewer blowback, something the warmer air exposes in most overdeveloped asian cities) are wafting in the air, the ladies are wearing less, outdoor patios are getting busy & generally everyone seems in a more upbeat mood... with more of a spring in their step, if you’ll pardon the lame-ass pun. last night, for the first time since i got here last october, i even turned off the heating in my apartment, the same heating-challenged apartment that, with its rooftop terrace, is clearly a place that was built for the summer, not winter... & certaintly not a korean one. aggh yes, something tells me this summer could be even better than last years.
'livin’ with seoul’ paddies day wrap
so paddies day in seoul (march 14th) was unique, just like i knew it would be. from a sober beginning 2 a forgotten end it went something like this.
i spent the afternoon in a park full of plastic paddies (“yeah, my great, great, great grandmothers best friends second cousin was from somewhere like gall-way... or kill-kenny.. or somewhere... somewhere in, you know, in eye-er-land... where is that anyway?... is it near like, texas? .. & do you guys have, like, real pet leprechauns?”) drinking a combination of free guinness (from a can & poured into small plastic glasses) & shit korean beer (from cans & paper cups) in the company of an aussie (mel) & an american (bran), watching koreans in o’neills jerseys knocking a sliotar about & listening 2 a korean quartette playing traditional irish music. all this was mc’ed by a guy who, although he spoke fluent korean, did so in an irish accent thick enough 2 cut turf. only i was sober, @ that stage, i wouldn’t have beleieved what i was seeing/hearing.
the evenings festivities in seoul’s newest irish bar, the dublin terrace, followed a more familiar, less surreal, course. the fact that the festivites kicked off/resumed @ 8pm & included access 2 unlimited pints of guinness (& unfortunately more plastic paddies) meant that no, i didn’t get 2 see the ireland scotland rugby game later that night (that was wishful thinking from the sober outset).
paddies day wraped up on tuesday evening, the real paddies day, with a few quite beers (it was a work night you see) with uno & bran in the wolfhound irish bar where the same trad quartette from saturday (plus a few guests) made an encore appearance 2 add a touch of ‘authenticity’ 2 the night (the wolfhound is where i’ll find myself @ 2:30am seoul time this coming sunday morning 2 see ireland win the grand slam... comon’ ireland).
check out the pics from paddies day in seoul here (if you’ve seen these pics before it’s cos mel pilfered them on me & published them 2 her fb profile). & i’ll end with a challenge... check out the video below of the wolfhound on paddies night & try 2 convince yourself i wasn’t in doolin instead. good luck... & then learn the meaning of the word sarcasm.
ihinteda while backthat i wanted 2 be in seoul for this most irish of days & here i am. yes, i know it’s only march 14th & yes i know, of course, thatpaddies dayis march 17th. but, & here’s the catch, march 17th is a tuesday &, while it should be, that date is not as yet a public holiday in korea, meaning people will be working on the real paddies day, me included (blasphemy, i know). so the powers that be have organised paddies day celebrations for today, a saturday, instead. hey, that’s okay with me because what it means is that everybody, although mainly the numrous plastic paddiesi’m bound 2 want 2 throw a pint of guinness over @ some stage today, gets the oppertunity 2 pretend 2 be irish for the day... & the rest of us, the real irish, get the chance 2 do it all again tuesday evening when it really counts. so what exactly is on tap for today? well, things kickoff later this afternoon with a ‘traditional irish concert & fair’ which will, of course, include a paddies day parade (how ‘traditional’ it’ll be remains 2 be seen). the festivities then move 2 a bar – irish, of course – where a ‘hooley’ is planned. it’s billed as a celebration of all things irish with the help of ‘live bands, caleigh dancers, pipers, guinness & a whole lot of craic’ (god i hate that word). i’ll be hoping 2 stay sober enough 2 watch (read remember) the ireland scotland rugby game later tonight (2am kickoff)... but i’m not liking my chances.
so there you have it, improvised paddies day in seoul. it could be one of the best ever... or it could be as bad aslast years paddies day. my guess is it’ll rest somewhere in between.
right, i’m off 2 find some shamrock... & 2 work on my irish accent.
this is one of the funniest videos i’ve seen in ages. & just in case you’re wondering, from what i can discern this is real (which is why it’s so funny). oh, & some ofthe comments posted about it are damn funny 2.slainte!
another mildly humorous video isthis onei’m gonna call ‘potatoes.’ aggh yes, us irish are champions @ takin’ the piss out of ourselves.slainte!
5 things... i knew.
here's an article that clains 2 inform the reader 5 things about ireland that they didn't already know (now there's an assumption). i like how they reference south korea (kind of appropriate) & how they tweak the stats 2 protray us as an island of beer guzzling alcoholics (personally i never touch the stuff). oh, & with rising unemployment & an ecomomy about as healthy as a leper with heart disease i doubt very much if we're sitting atop of any 'highest quality of life' tables. but hey, on today of all days who cares? slainte!
so i was planning on, @ some stage, uploading video 2 this blog showing my apartment (i’ve already uploaded a few piss-poor pictures). i guess if i’m being honest the reasons i haven’t done so yet is because 1) i don’t like the sound of my own voice (& nobody, save for those acoustically challenged, likes a mute video), & 2) i really couldn’t be bothered. but that’s fine, because now i don’t need 2. why? well, a few years ago, right about the time i started the ball rolling on my divorce - by getting married - someone else working for ck lived in the very same apartment. yep, & while doing so decided 2 do me a favour by posting 2 video clips of the apartment, my pad thank you very much, 2 youtube. steven was his name, he was/is an aussie & by all accounts he sounds like a nice chap... & that’s why i don’t mind the fact that he stayed in my room. anyway, check out the videos below. take it away steven....
video 1 - inside
video 2 - outside
living vicariously through me yet? yes, no. anyway, u can check out the comments people have bothered 2 leave on the youtube website regarding the first of the videos here & if you want 2 read of steven’s time in korea as a ck school english teacher then you can do so here (this is where i actually found the videos originally, not on youtube). btw, the ck school steven worked @ back then, engko, has since moved & changed its name 2 jess island... & i’ve shown you that before here,here (you remember santa, right?) &, most recently, here.
ok, time 2 get this show back on the road. my absence has been inexcusable, so i won’t offer up any. suffice 2 say a lot has happened in the... counting days on the calandar ... in the 48 days since my last real entry - camp ended... i went back 2 work in the ck office... i procrastinated for as long as i possibly could before eventually deciding not 2 come back 2 korea (only 2 change my mind mere hours before getting on the plane 2 leave)... i spent 2 & a bit weeks @ home not catching up with as many people as i would have liked 2 & counting myself lucky i had a job @ all (albeit one in korea)... & i have spent the last 12 days back in seoul, starting this - whatever 'this' is - all over again. yes i’m back ‘livin’ with seoul’... part ii, if you like. it is, 2 coin a well know tinglish phrase, the 'same same but different.'
'livin’ with seoul, part ii’ by the numbers
12- days i’ve been back.
175- days until my present contract ends (september 2nd).
177- days until my next trip home (september 4th).
100- days until the next camp begins (july 19th). yep, yet another camp.
6- days until paddies day.
3 – days until seoul celebrates paddies day.
10 – days until ireland wins their first grand slam since 1948 (& only their 2nd ever). the table, as of now, makes for pleasant reading. comon' ireland!
6 – months worth of supplies i brought with me from home (toothpaste, multivitimins, deodorant... but inexplicably no tea).
24 - time, in hours, that the south korean army reserves (which includes pretty much every korean male i know under the age of 40) have 2 assemble for battle in the event of the north ever attacking. it could be all over by then guys. whoops.
66 - distance, in kilometers, the 1.1 million battle-ready north korean soldiers are from my apartment in seoul (that's how far away/close the north korean border is).
600,000 - the number of troops the combined armies of south korea & the u.s. could, @ a push, pit against the aforementioned 1.1 million crazed north koreans.
‘livin’ with seoul’ war watch
yep, those last 3 points above are real. but it's okay, cos the north koreans haven’t attacked yet. which is good... obviously. i personally think, for what it’s worth, that they are all balls & no trousers. i was asked by ken, uno & bill one night last week what i would do if war broke out.
“ohh, i dunno guys. haven’t really thought about it,” i replied.
i guess they have.
‘livin’ with seoul’ photo album
i was told when i was home that there are, get this, 2 many pictures of drunken revelry in the ‘livin’ with seoul’ photo album. umm. with that in mind i’ll be trying 2 post more ... more... struggling for a word here... more ‘suitable’ pictures.... pictures of culture, pictures in daylight, & pictures of actual koreans not named uno, bill or ken. but bear with me, ok. it could be a struggle. just a heads up.
‘livin’ with seoul’ paddies day primer
the objective of this website is cool, but i especially like how they - yanks, i'm assuming - recognise paddies day for exactly what it is - the ‘greatest holiday of the year.’
‘livin’ with seoul’ laugh
as a sure sign of the times, let me present noah’s ark, the 2009 edition.
in the year of our lord 2009, the man himself came unto noah, who was now living in the united states, & said:
'once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, & i see the end of all flesh before me. build another ark & save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.'
he gave noah the blueprints, saying:
'you have 6 months 2 build the ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days & 40 nights.'
6 months later, the lord looked down & saw noah weeping in his yard... but no ark.
'noah!' he roared, 'i'm about 2 start the rain! where is the ark?'
'forgive me, oh lord’, begged noah, 'but things have changed!
'i needed a building permit. i've been arguing with the inspectors about it for months. my neighbours claim that i've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the ark in my yard & exceeding the height limitations. we had 2 go 2 the development appeal board for a decision. it’s pending.
then the department of transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines & other overhead obstructions... you know, 2 clear the passage for the ark's move 2 the sea. i told them that the sea would be coming 2 us, but they would hear nothing of it!
getting the wood was another problem! there's a ban on cutting local trees in order 2 save the spotted owl. i tried 2 convince the environmentalists that i needed the wood 2 save the owls - but no go.
& when i started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. they insisted that i was confining wild animals against their will. they argued the accommodations were 2 restrictive, & it was cruel & inhumane 2 put so many animals in a confined space.
then the epa ruled that i couldn't build the ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood!
i'm still trying 2 resolve a complaint with the human rights commission on how many minorities I'm supposed 2 hire for my building crew. immigration & naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want 2 work.... & the trades unions say I can't use my sons! they insist i have 2 hire only union workers with ark-building experience!
& 2 cap it all, the irs seized all my assets, claiming i'm trying 2 leave the country illegally with endangered species!
so, please forgive me, oh lord, but it would take @ least 10 years for me 2 finish this ark’.
suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began 2 shine, & a rainbow stretched across the sky.
noah looked up in wonder & asked,
'you mean you're not going 2 destroy the world?'
'no,' said the lord.
'the government beat me 2 it!'
‘livin’ with seoul’ wtf? video
this video of bricklayers in bangladesh, apart from being cool, shows one of the reasons why i love asia. things just get done, regardless of resources. no unions here screaming blue murder. in saying that however i still wouldn’t like 2 call a place like bangladesh home. i doubt paddies day is a holiday there.
'livin' with seoul' look back in time
this day last year i was high as a kite (not really)... & was lovin' it (really).
