rambling

a heads up... I’m just gonna ramble here, k? not that there ever is any kind of structure, coherency or subject matter 2 any of my entries but still... a heads up nonetheless. it’s 4:38 on sunday afternoon & i’m 2 things – not hungover & bored. no, i did go out last night... i'm just not hungover. i am however in one of those moods, on one of those days. i’ve just loaded every song on my laptop into media player, set it on shuffle & i’m sitting here typing whatever comes 2 mind... all because i can’t think of anything better 2 do. yes, i’ve weighed up the options. do laundry? na... tomorrow. clean my room? na... some other time (& it’s not that dirty anyway). go grocery shopping? na... don’t really need anything (& i’m kinda fed up spending money). go out somewhere & do something/anything? na... couldn’t be bothered... couldn’t be arsed. not just right now. maybe later. i’ve even contemplated doing some work, the work i try 2 avoid doing on work days. it was when contemplating doing some work that the realisation of how bored i am hit. i’m not holding out much hope but maybe by the time i finish this entry i’ll have thought of something 2 do that i actually want 2 do... or someone will have contacted me with a plan. of course i could initiate contact with that same someone armed with a plan of my own but i 1) don’t have a plan, or a desire to fabricate one, & 2) just couldn’t be arsed. yep, i’m in one of those moods, on one of those days. & it’s now only 4:52pm... tick tock.    

‘livin’ with seoul’ by the numbers – an update

31 – days i’ve been 'livin' with seoul.' wow... time really does fly when having fun.

25 – days until christmas day. jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.

29 – days until camp begins

71 – days until i go home

1,500,000 – amount, in korean won, i’ve spent since getting here, most of it on socialising (about €800)

0 – amount, in korean won,  i’ve received in pay 2 date (about €0). i probably should get on that

2 – christmas trees seen so far

3 – number of cups of tea i’ve drank since getting here

8 – tea bags i have left from the box of 10 i bought yesterday

308 – the number of koreans i’ve interviewed since starting work

0 – christmas songs i've heard 2 date

1 – saturdays i’ve had off since getting here

8 – days it took me 2 complete my 5 day course of antibiotics

147 – the number of the bus i take 2 & from the ck office

7 – degrees in seoul right now (5:12pm)

2 – degrees in dublin right now (8:12am)

my ‘livin with seoul’ seoulmates

check out the pictures i uploaded yesterday 2 the blog album for more.  you know you want 2.

'livin' with seoul' gift watch

in my opinion everyone should listen 2 this & this, although only my beautiful fellow countrymen & women will truely appreciate them for what they are... pure comic genius (everyone else will probably be lost... sorry). 

whoops!

i love this. how 2 flunk a breathalyser test without actually taking the test.

hans & roopa 2 the rescue

“dinner sounds like a plan. roopa suggested korean bbq – there’s a good one near her place. Anyone else got a good local?”

looks like something 2 do did crop up. i shouldn’t have been so skeptical. time 2 round up the troops. it’s now 5:37pm.

what i’m listening 2 right now

duffy, warwick avenue

rolein' along

it has been 9 days since my last entry. whoops. & it’s not like i don’t have anything 2 ramble on about ‘cause i do. & now that i have 9 days of stuff 2 ramble on about i fear i’m not gonna be able 2 do it. why? well, ‘cause i don’t have the time. honest. i’ve been kinda busy recently. yep, the koreans seem 2 have found stuff for me 2 do. bless them. btw, i’ve given up wondering when they are going 2 stop fussing over me ‘cause @ this stage i don’t think they are. anyway, yeah... i have stuff 2 do on these getting-colder, late november days. the preparing-for-camp intensity level has ramped up quite a bit over the last week, although i’m spending most of my time in the office reminding the new camp director – numero uno on the camp pecking order - that i’ve done this shiz not once, but twice before & that “i’m all over it... boss.” my reputation for being shit hot @ this stuff aside (that is why i'm here after all), i think my laid back style in the office might be worrying her a bit. yep, i still haven’t mastered the skill of looking like i’m as busy as the koreans, even though these days i surely am.

but work for me isn’t, & never was, all just about the ck office, even though i realise my posts 2 date would indicate otherwise. so on that note let me introduce you 2 my 2nd, non-camp related ck role, jes island. sounds almost tropical... almost idyllic, eh? well, it definitely isn't either of those. what it most definitely is is a noisy, colourful, glass-walled,  pokey, alice in wonderland-esque private kindergarten & elementary school (known @ home as a ‘primary school’) that is jointly owned by the ck boss (he of the still-woeful golf swing). the fact that i don’t really have a lot 2 say about the place is an indication as 2 what i do there, which doesn't amount 2 much (although as with the ck office i’m getting busier). i spend a bit of time there each week being a sort of (unofficial) union official/rant sponge for the 10 (slightly) aggrieved foreign - like me - school teachers, mediating between them & the next-2-useless korean school managers (next-2-useless when dealing with foreigners that is). although i seem 2 have a knack for that sort of thing (that thing being striking the right chord with foreigners & koreans alike) it’s still a thankless role considering i’m pretty much powerless 2 implement any kind of changes that would make any difference 2 the teachers present lot (trust me.. koreans are allergic 2 change, however trivial... which makes me question why they gave me this task in the first place). i'm not 2 sure what the teachers think of me just walking around on the other side of those glass walls pretending 2 look all important, or how they feel about me wasting their time by chairing meetings that deliver no good news @ all. i do like 2 think that, @ the very least, i provide them something they didn't have before, that being a foreign face for them 2 moan @. hey, an oh so wise sage once said that a problem shared is a problem halved, right? right. anyway, halving problems in jes leaves me ample opportunity 2 witness this sort of stuff. i challenge you 2 watch the video below, a video of some jes island kindergarten students getting ready 2 go home after a hard day of abc's, without saying awwww. go on, try. you haven't a hope... & you have been warned.     

‘livin' with seoul’ ailment update... & more

i stretched my 5 day course of antibiotics out 2 8 days, taking a break for the weekend (yes my weekends tend 2 span 3 days.. & they would span 7 days if i could handle/afford it... i couldn't on both counts). & while i feel super now, i’m fully aware that the latest weekend is only 9 hours away (7pm on a Friday marks the weekend), meaning in 24 hours i’ll be battling the latest, all 2 frequent ailment... the saturday hangover. & i’ll have 2 battle it, & not 2 mention sleep deprivation, while interviewing another excessive number of koreans for the upcoming camp. omg.... if i’d have know not working last saturday was going 2 be such a rarity then i might have gotten out of bed before mid-late afternoon 2 savour a seoul saturday. but that’s easier said than done, especially when there is an all 2 good reason for staying in bed.   

what i’m listening 2 right now

collective soul, december

good news. bad news

first, the bad news. i was told today that i can’t drink for 5 days... can’t drink alcohol for 5 days. the person who broke that ground-shattering news 2 me may have looked 11 years old but he was still, i assume, a real doctor & his grasp of the english language was sufficient enough for him 2 know the difference between the contractions ‘shouldn’t’ & ‘can’t’... he used the latter forcefully when addressing me, all scorned schoolboy like, in the little outpatients room of the ent (ear, nose, throat) clinic of yonsei university hospital earlier this afternoon. oh, i’m not going 2 bore you all 2 tears with the details as 2 why i was there (i’ve done that before & let’s just say that korea isn’t korea for me without an ear infection) but suffice 2 say i’m a bit worried for the weekend ahead.

5 days he said, prescribing me enough medication 2 see me through until monday next. monday... umm. there’s a problem with that, mainly that monday is after friday... friday night 2 be precise. worse still, it’s also after saturday night. shit, assuming i’m a good boy that means even a sneaky sunday night is out of the question. if i double up on the pills & give myself 20 drops a day as apposed 2 the prescribed 10 then i’ll cut that 5 days in half... & i’ll be good 2 go for the weekend. it’s a dilemma, of that there is no doubt. god damn ears. god damn ear infections. god damn doctors. god damn antibiotics. god damn friday night only being 3 days away. god damn.       

‘livin' with seoul’ weather watch

god damn weather 2. in the last 48 hours the temperatures have dropped @ least 10 degrees, bringing out the winter jackets & dumping the last of the autumnal leaves from the trees in the process. it is -2 degrees today (9 degrees in dublin according to google)... still a lot warmer than it will be this time next month. 

‘livin' with seoul’ finances update

& so on 2 the good news. my bank rocks... & i never thought i’d say that (& i'll probably never say it again). this is an extrac... actually, it’s pretty much the whole of the letter they sent me reagrding my lost/stolen credit card.  

'We sympathise with you for any distress caused to you as a result of the recent disputed transaction(s) on your credit card. In accordance with our fraud investigation procedures, we have temporarily refunded your credit card for the disputed transaction(s). Our procedures now require you to complete and sign a disclaimer form for the disputed transaction(s). We will post you one of these forms, including a prepaid envelope, within 2 to 3 weeks. You will need to complete and sign the disclaimer and return it to us with 2 weeks of receiving it. If you do not return a signed disclaimer form to us within 2 weeks, we may no longer treat these transactions as disputed. This means that your account will be re-debited and you will remain liable for the disputed transaction(s)' 

so i lose my credit card, someone takes it for a ride 2 the tune of €660 before i'm coherent enough 2 get around 2 cancelling it & all i gotta do 2 get the 'disputed transaction(s)' erased is 2 use a prepaid envelope 2 send a form back stating 'wasn't me, boss'. that stinks of fraud 2 me alright... but you won't hear me complaining.

whoops! 

a different type of whoops in this entry. it's more than a glass of water mary here needs. classic.

what i’m listening 2 right now

the sound of me typing. can’t use headphones for 5 days either. god damn ear infections. god damn doctors. god damn antibiotics. god damn friday night only being 3 days away. god damn.       

domesticated

so i now know what my purpose here in ck is. & it only took 2 weeks of figuring out. i also know my department name. it’s ‘domestic camp’. yep, that’s it. domestic camp. i work in the domestic camp department as part of the domestic camp team. me & 5 others. i’ve no doubt that hyperbole would have been employed 2 come up with a different, fancier departmential name had a native english speaker penned it. but a native english speaker didn’t pen it... & that’s why it’s so shite. & that’s also why i won’t be dishing out my as yet 2 arrive business cards, the 1’s i was asked 2 fabricate a title for & the same 1's that will tell everyone who bothers 2 read them that i work, yawn, in the domestic camp department of ck. in fairness 2 the department, working in it is not as boaring as the  name would imply. which brings me nicely back 2 my purpose here. i pretty much do anything the koreans have difficulty doing due 2 the fact that they have issues with doing something i take for granted – speaking english. now they obviously don’t need me here & they could, & have, gotten along without me (or any other foreginer for that matter) up until now. but now that i am here they seem 2 be taking full advantage 2 delegate, delegate, delegate. my days so far have been made up of interviewing, over skype, prospective teachers for the upcoming domestic camp, smiling @ the cute girls in the office, e-mailing prospective teachers for the upcoming domestic camp, drinking coffee, proof reading documents the koreans have created for the upcoming domestic camp, checking fb every 10 minutes, drafting schedules for the upcoming domestic camp, searching out & listening 2 albums on my mp3 player that i’ve never actually listened 2 before, interviewing koreans for the upcoming domestic camp, drafting more schedules for the upcoming domestic camp, reading the news on the bbc website & drafting yet more schedules for, you’ve guessed it, the upcoming domestic camp. if it wasn’t for that damned upcoming camp i’d have a real challene on my hands coming up with stuff 2 do (& i wouldn't have a department 2 work in either)... which is where jes island comes to the rescue. i’ll tell you all about that next time.

‘livin’ with seoul’ by the numbers

16 - days i’ve been 'livin' with seoul'

11 - days i’ve worked

1 - sick days pulled

69 - price i spent, in euro, on the jacket i lost here, along with my wallet, on the 2nd night out

660 – amount, in euro, someone spent on my credit card after i lost my wallet (so much for pin numbers)

2 – amount of times i’ve done laundry since getting here

3 - the number of departments within ck. they are 'domestic camp', my department which organises & runs the twice annual domestic english camps run by the company, the camps that 1st brought me 2 kool-rea way back in december 2003, 'ckic' (camp korea international campus), which sends rich kids overseas in an effort 2 improve their english, & 'ku call' which makes money by teaching english over the phone. there are hot girls in 2 of the 3 departments... all except mine. 

7 – average hours i sleep a night

1 - hours i slept friday night (50 minutes actually)

14 – hours i sleept last night (saturday)

2 - number of contracted saturdays i’ve been here

2 - number of saturdays i’ve worked

0  - number of saturdays my contract states i am 2 work  

900 – charge, in korean won, 2 get a shirt washed, dryed & ironed (about €0.50)

4 - number of tubes of toothpaste i’ve bought in the hopes of getting something that actually tastes like toothpaste

3 -number of days i’ve came 2 the office with a hangover (not bad considering)

330 – per minute charge, in korean won, 2 use my mobile (about €0.20)

5 – avarage number of cups of coffee i drink a day (& i don't really like coffee)

0 - number of cups of tea i’ve drank since getting here (& i love tea)

0 - number of slices of toast i've had since getting here (ditto)

0 - number of potatoes i still haven't consumed since getting here

10 - average hours a day i’m on ck duty

3 – games of pool i lost friday night night (including 1 2 a girl)

3,000 – the cheapest price, in korean won, i’ve been charged for a class of beer in a bar (about €1.70)

264 - number of koreans i’ve interviewed since starting work (typically in groups of 10)

5 – maximum score i could give them for their english ability

4 – number of them who scored the maximum

3 – number of them who i deemed ‘hot’ (pittyfully low)

20 – times a day i’m asked if i’m “okay” (about twice an hour)

6 – days until the weekend

7 - days, maximum, until the next hangover

whoops!

anyone can see that this just had 2 end in pain.

what i'm listening 2 right now!

oasis, i'm outta time

a divide?

i’m sensing a divide in the ck office. while i was of the impression, up until yesterday lunch time, that the koreans i share the office with all work in seamless harmony with each other, now i’m not so sure. there are, as far as i can make out, 3 main departments within the company & the office is layed out accordingly, with the staff members from each of the departments grouped in nice little buches of lime green & blue cubicles (they are the company colours you see). it’s all very cartoonie looking & 2 a westerner like me all very humourous as well, with the hum of “blah blah blah mi-da”’s emanating from little koreans beavering away @ whatever they are paid 2 beaver away @.

as i was sucking & slurping my noodles yesterday @ lunch i was asked by a member of my department (i’ll get back 2 you when i know what it’s called & what it does within the great sphere of the ck universe) what i thought of a certain individual in 1 of the other 2 departments (this came a day after i was asked if i thought another male employee was “good looking”... wtf?). the question broke my concentration, absorbed as i was in sucking/slurping (don’t wanna ruin that shirt by being 2 careless). it would have been a more awkward question 2 answer, @ least truthfully, if i actually knew, or had @ least been introduced, 2 the individual they were asking after (so far the only names i know of people outside my department are those of the cute girls... & the boss of course) but it got me thinking that maybe things are not as harmonious in the ck office as they seem. the conversation on the subject continued amongst the rest of my collegues in “blah blah blah mi-da” korean once i’d given my “umm, i don’t really know who you’re talking about” answer. i know this becasue while i may not understand any korean beyond the words for ‘2’, ‘beer’, ‘thank you’, ‘how much?’, 'yes', 'please' & ‘okay’, i do know when i’m being spoken about. it’s mainly because i’m still being constantly fussed over. yep. but i reckon i’ll become less of a novelty soon enough. i have 2... i've worked with these guys before... & anyway, i’m not that interesting. 

the ‘livin’ with seoul’ potatoe watch – an update
none yet. i’m getting starch from rice, but it’s just not the same... rice can't hold a candle 2 the humble spud. amen 2 that.

'livin' with seoul' photo album
just 2 let you know. i’ll be uploading ramdom pictures of seoul randomness 2 the blog photo album. you can access the album on the right (or by clicking on the pic below). the album will be growing quicker than the blog. just 2 let you know.

things i’ve impressed the koreans with so far -

• my ability 2 eat a bowl of noodle soup with chopsticks. years of practice means i rock @ this (& the koreans have noticed).
  

• my golf swing. the boss, jay, is learning 2 play golf & his swing is a thing 2 fear. it’s so bad that it makes my swing look good... & that makes me look good. he's threatening 2 take me out for a round some day, but @ USD$200-300 a pop i can't see that being an all 2 common occurrence. 
  

• my appetite for pizza bread & cold coffee @ 8am in the morning. hey, it’s bread after all & it sure beats rice @ that hour. actually, it beats rice @ any hour (but not spuds, of course).

• the fact that i actually like kimchi. that seems 2 surprise & impress them in equal measure.... each & every lunchtime. 

• the fact that i don’t react in a disturbed/voilent way 2 the endless stream of pictures of my cheating bitch of an ex-wife that i'm subjected 2 on a daily basis. that smile adorns the company banners hanging on the walls, the glossy brocheures sitting on my desk, obscure areas of the company website that i always seem 2 navigate 2, & the flip calendar i reference a million times a day. yep, i may temporarily be the novel foreginer in the office, but i’ll forever be the ex-husband of the ck poster girl. biatch.

• my ability 2 conduct teacher interviews over skype. i know, they are impressed by the littlest things (“i didn’t invent voip guys”). 

• the fact that everyone in the office thinks i’m cool. that 1 i can understand.... because i am. 

a 'livin' with seoul' appeal
hey, whoever is sending them balloons into the north... would you mind stopping, thank you very much? i’m here now. @ this stage i don’t really care for the present condition, be it dead or alive, of yer man kim jong il but don’t you know them north koreans are unstable?... bose-einstein condensate of metastable helium-esque unstable? so stop it... please. i’m here now & i'm asking nicely.

whoops!

how not 2 handle getting a speeding ticket

what i’m listening 2 right now

the blizzards, black hole

"blah... blah... blah mi-da"

so i’m now officially part of the korean tax-paying workforce. this isn’t the temporary type work of past korean jaunts. no sir, this is proper full-time, 9-5 work (7:30am-5:30pm actually)... work of the shiny metallic-grey suit-wearing colleague & business lunch type. it’s early on monday morning of week 2 & i’ve already ran out of things 2 do, meaning i can finally turn my attentions 2 getting this ‘livin’ with seoul’ (ingenious eh?) blog up & running (so long as i’m typing in a word document the koreans i share the office with, bless them, will be none the wiser). i’ve a lot 2 report on the 9 days i’ve been here so far but i’m not going 2 get into specifics. not here. not now. nope, i’m not going 2 elaborate on how i spent the first 48 hours of those 9 days being all bacchanalian & the following 120 hours or so (5 days, 2 those of you who aren’t up on your x24 tables) recovering from the combined effects of jet lag, hite, cass, soju, tequila, stupidly late nights & obscenely early mornings. what it’s like for this gadding irishman 2 live, eat, drink, fall over & work in seoul for an extended period of time is what this blog will be all about, but for now let me attempt 2 convey 2 you my lot in seoul thus far.

'livin' with seoul' work
working, for want of a more appropriate adjective, in an office full of koreans isn’t alien 2 me. ergo, before i even got here (during my previous blog days) i was down with not understanding anything anyone ever says (when they are not communicating directly to me in english of course... every other time it is a string of blah blah blah's punctuated with "mi-da"). the 1st week was a slow, sometimes painful slog, mainly because being a bum is seemingly an ingrained habit of a lifetime for me & actually having 2 be somewhere @ a designated time was a shock, somewhat, 2 the peppered, abused system. but that said, so far so good. as of now i still don’t mind...

- being constantly fussed over,

- being introduced, Obama like, 2 everyone who comes into the office, including the couriers who, hospitable koreans aside, have difficulty hiding the fact that they really should be some place else & would rather run over this foreigner than shake his hand or bow 2 him,

- sitting @ the lunch table wondering exactly how spicy the unknown dish in front of me is (it’s always spicy... korean spicy, not western spicy) & wondering where the potatoes are (never in the restaurants we frequent, that’s where),

- sitting in office meetings, smiling, nodding & wondering, amongst endless "blah... blah... blah mi-da"'s, exactly what’s going on, &

- trying 2 look busy (trust me - trying 2 convince folk that you're working is more actual work than work itself... i'd imagine).

of course being the lone 외국인(foreigner) in an office of 14 koreans does have its perks - i get the biggest smiles from the cutest girls in the office & eyebrows are not raised when i bid everyone adieu for the night @ 5:30 (the rest of them, as is the korean way, are here til drinking time & beyond). okay, so i may not be 100% sure yet (maybe 20%) what i’m supposed 2 be doing, but i’m sure i’ll stumble upon something 2 do before i get fired for... well, doing nothing.

'livin' with seoul' play
hite. amnesia. cass. bruises. soju. headaches.

right, that’s it for now. something tells me i’ll have ample opportunity 2 update this blog over the coming weeks & months. should be fun, for me @ least. but, before i go here are a few...

korean idiosyncrasies (that i had almost forgotten about)

- it’s way 2 easy 2 have a good time here,

- koreans work way 2 hard,

- koreans are way 2 nice,

- everywhere smells of kimchi,

- essentials (beer, mandu, public transport) are cheap,

- korean women are hot & hot korean women are smokin' hot (especially those walking around my office building in business attire...  & yes, before you ask it is my office), & finally, 

- it’s hard 2 find potatoes.

what i'm listening 2 right now

dunno.... it's all korean. "blah... blah... blah... mi-da"